


A story finished in the middle

by valley_beyond



Category: Tenet (2020)
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, Established Relationship, M/M, POV Second Person, Post-Canon, Sorry I have to bury these gays
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-29
Updated: 2020-11-29
Packaged: 2021-03-09 23:41:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,036
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27784648
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/valley_beyond/pseuds/valley_beyond
Summary: You really had to go backwards to finally understand everything.
Relationships: Neil/The Protagonist (Tenet)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 29





	A story finished in the middle

When you were a kid, you used to open a book in the end just to see how it finished. In that time, it was most important for you to know if the evil was defeated, if the protagonist succeeded and they all lived happily ever after than to know the middle of the story. Then, CIA happened, Tenet happened, and after that thinking about endings and beginnings didn't make sense anymore. After all, when time ceases to be a line and starts to move in circles, the meaning of those words depends on the point of view.  
The knowledge of the end of the journey gives you comfort and was your only consolation when you went back to start Tenet. You knew what to expect, you knew what your actions would cause and maybe because of that you could let reality take its course and just for once live it... maybe...  
Still you had to work your ass to put the pieces in the right places on the board. There were loops inside of loops that you had to make and you lost count of how many versions of you existed in one single day.  
And yet there were a few surprises left, mostly Neil's fault. The promise of a beautiful friendship was partly a lie and more meaningful than you expected. Of course, he knew your eagerness for answers and told you only part of the story. However, you're glad he let you discover and live your relationship step by step.  
There was one more thing left to know: what happens to you when all the pieces are set up and the game starts. It's a task you must perform alone and thinking about it has eaten you up since day one.  
You don't understand how your future self could do nothing while Neil dies. How could him – you – just let that happen even though it has already happened? He knew the end, so what was stopping him from trying to do something about it? He had all the time and the sources in the world to find a way to save this generation and this time one more life.  
Has he completely accepted that life, like books, is already written down with concrete ends and there’s nothing you can do about it? And will you accept that too?  
In the end, time, sources and will aren't the problem, it’s getting out alive, like Neil has told you once.  
You are in the middle of another Tenet mission. Dangerous as always, but after years of getting up to some stuff you and Neil can manage everything.You don’t even think about it, you just jump in front of Neil, that's all. While your bodies fall to the ground the world seems to move in slow motion and finally everything makes sense.  
You have never let him go to the mission all by himself. You wouldn't be able to do it. Not without trying to change things. You wouldn't dare to let the man you love become a shadow of the man he is now. Sad and shaking, practically lost in Mumbai.  
At least one time what happens is not your creation or fault. The bullet you took might be the one casualty in this chess field you have carefully prepared. And there’s beauty in this irony.  
You’re so relieved you almost laugh but instead the only sound you make is a cough full of blood. The shooting could have taken ages or just a fraction of a second, you couldn’t tell while life seams to run out of your body. Neil must have killed the others and you're the only living beings in the enclosure. Not for too long...  
“Why did you do this?” He screams, his shakings hands press your chest trying to stop the bleeding.  
“You did… You would do the same."  
In this messed loop of yours, there was only one thing that haunted you until this moment: Neil going to die peacefully, so sure with what he would do next. You envied that level of certainty; he wasn't even sad in his end... But now you get it, those nostalgic, almost sorrowful, eyes. That wasn't a result of a broken heart, it was grief this whole time.  
You really had to go backwards to finally understand everything. ”Neil, it’s okay."  
“No, it's not, I have so much to learn...” You want to tell him how great he was and will be, how charming, helpful… How you couldn’t help but trust him even though he was keeping things from you. How he was able to not reveal everything and still manage to patiently guide you.  
But time runs out and it's not what Neil needs to hear right now. He needs to know he's ready for the next step, he has nothing to worry about. “Neil, listen… You're ready.”  
“Stop it! We are getting out of here alive, it looks like a clean shot, we can treat...” You interrupt him trying light the situation.  
“I'm pretty sure it was a clean shot in my lung.” You laugh and cough blood at the same time. You have already died before, you can do it bravely again for Neil. Like he also did for you.  
Niel must finish the rest of the journey alone and this is the only thing you are really sorry for. But you will meet again, if there's any good thing in this loop is that your reunion is ad inevitable as the love you have for each other. “Don’t worry… You and I will meet again." Neil’s holding your body so gently that you want to sleep, Gosh, it hurts so much. You're burning and freezing at the same time and for once entropy doesn't make sense… Maybe you had finally beaten the devil behind all of this.  
Before you rest, you look into your lover’s eyes. They’re full with tears shining like never before. There’s sorrow in them, but through the sadness you can see so much love. You don't want to say goodbye because this isn't a farewell, so you say the only thing that suits in this situation.  
“It’s okay, you’re only in the middle.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! So this has been in my notes for a while and it was supposed to be a long story full of random moments about this two, but turns out this is the only piece I'm comfortable publishing...Sorry for any mistakes English is not my native language.  
> Like i said I had to bury these gays since the whole operation is a temporal pincer. Also I am trully beliver that Neil only dies because the Protagonist isn't able to do something about it(reads dead before he could do someyhing).


End file.
